


Needing More

by beccaj327



Category: Highland Brides - Lynsay Sands, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Physical Abuse, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-07-31 14:14:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20116414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beccaj327/pseuds/beccaj327
Summary: Chelsea O'Malley grew up in an average, middle class family in an average, middle class neighborhood, in an average, middle class town, in the middle of Illinois. She never dreamed she was a princess, because she knew those didn't exist. Yet she still felt that she did not belong where she was. When a seemingly random encounter with a sorcerer named (get this) Merlin, she found herself living the life she only ever let herself dream of. Suddenly, she was the crown princess of Gondor, the eldest daughter of Aragorn and Arwen, the lost princess, finally found, and finally home. But her past is not that of a princess. Riddled with errors, lapses in judgement, abused former partners, and enough emotional baggage to make even the best of psychiatrists run for the hill, she is the last thing the people of Gondor thought they were getting. Will she be able to finally find where she belongs and fit in? And who the hell is this Auley Buchanan and why is Aragorn calling him her betrothed?





	Needing More

**Author's Note:**

> I only own Chelsea O'Mally (Also known throughout this fic as Ariella), all other characters belong to their respected authors. 
> 
> So this is currently just kind of a test, to see if I like the story enough to keep it up. This is technically the second chapter, but I like it so far, so I'm posting it. It has NOT been beta'd, so there are millions of errors and it's a first draft.

"Me brother was axed across the face in battle..." she heard Saidh say softly. "It changed him."

"It does…" She agreed, looking out into the fields below. "I don't know your brother, but my scars definitely changed me. And not just the physical scars. The emotional scars. Those are the worst. The physical ones heal, you can cover them up, only show them to people you trust. The emotion scars? Those are visible to everyone. Your little ticks and habits. Picking at your nails when you're nervous, picking scabs off your scalp when you're stressed, flinching away from sudden or apparently violent movements. Those are things you can't hide no matter what you do. That's what kills me.

"I don't give a fuck if people think my scars are ugly. If they think I'm disgusting because of what someone else did to me in anger, that's their issue. Not mine. That doesn't bother me. What kills me is the pity. The sympathetic 'Oh, that's so horrible, sweetie.' I don't need your fucking pity. I survived. I'm not a victim. I didn't let myself be a victim. And I'll be damned if I let someone turn me into that. And that's what you get when someone makes a sudden movement towards you and you flinch, ready for a blow. That instant pity in their eyes. Then they see your scars and you can *feel* them coming to so many new conclusions. I hate it." She sighed then and picked up a rock, inspecting it.

"At least I had a choice to walk away from the beginning in each relationship… I chose to stay like a fucking idiot. Thought I could change them. That they would get better. That their lies weren't lies, they were telling the truth when they said they didn't want to hurt me. Or that if I tried harder, they wouldn't have to hurt me." 

She stopped and scoffed then, setting the rock down to resist the urge to throw it as hard as she could. "God, I can spot abuse from a mile away when it's happening to someone else! I've helped friends out of abusive situations! I was the one who saved Amanda's life when Andrew started threatening to kill her! But can I recognize it when it's literally in my face? Happening to myself? Nope. I roll over like a puppy, showing my belly and begging for more." 

The tears didn't surprise her. She always cried when she got pissed off, and boy was she fucking furious right now. Furious at herself. At her ex boyfriends. At her parents for putting here in a world that allowed for her to get in that situation to begin with! So no, the tears didn't surprise her. What surprised her was the sudden hug from Saidh. The woman had seemed like the kind to *not* pity her. But she supposed she was always wrong on that anyway. She couldn't read people for shit, she concluded. Always telling the wrong thing to the wrong people. 

Pulling away from the hug, she turned her back to the woman and crossed her arms. "I wasn't crying for your pity," She snapped, angrily wiping at her tears, begging herself to just *get her shit together*. "It's just a reflex. I can't fucking help it, and it pisses me off when I start crying like this!"  
  
"I wasn't pitying you, Princess." Saidh snapped back before taking a breath. "I just thought…you could use some comfort. You showed me that blanket you were working on. You said it was like a hug. I thought you could use a real one." 

"Sounds like she needs more than a hug." 

"Auley! How long have you been standing there?!" Saidh cried, turning around to glare at her brother. 

"Since you both got out here. I came to check on Princess Ariella. I did not know you were with her."  
  
"I don't need a guard." Ariella frowned, her tears almost stopping. "I have three dogs, they can protect me if something happens."  
  
"Yet they did not alert you to my presence. Nor did they protect you in the throne room. From neither the insulting sniggering nor the intentional trip by the color guard."  
  
Ariella growled and stood up straighter, glaring at the taller man. "They weren't allowed in the throne room because Moony attacked the last guy who insulted me. Now my father makes me leave them in my room so he can deal with the council when they call me names. As for why they didn't bother alerting me to your presence, they must have thought I knew you were there, because they always growl at strangers unless I've acknowledged them first."  
  
"Or he snuck them some food." Saidh suggested, looking at the dogs. 

Ariella's attention turned to her three dogs, as well, but they all stayed obediently where they laid at her feet. "No. If he had given them a treat, they would have been all over him looking for more." 

"The point is -" Auley tried to get back onto the topic they had been on when Aragorn, along with the rest of the Buchannan clan, appeared behind him.  
  
Aragorn stepped up to her first, inspecting her for a second before wrapping her in a hug. "Are you alright?" He finally asked, pulling away and gently touching her bruised nose. "It's not broken, I do not think."  
  
"No," Ariella sighed, shaking her head. "It's not broken. Just my pride. Like usual." 

She knew the second she started talking that she would disappoint her father again. She wasn't wrong. For what seemed like the trillionth time since they met over six months ago, Aragorn had that look on his face. The one that says "You're my daughter and I love you, but I really wish you were something else". 

"Sorry," She muttered as she cast her eyes away, frustrated with herself yet again. It wasn't like she wasn't trying. She was. But she wasn't raised to be a princess! She was raised to be an independent woman in a world full of men wanting to knock you down. She wasn't the quiet demure princess that she figured Aragorn would want in his oldest daughter. Technically, she should be heir to the throne. When she pointed that out, and how it was bullshit that her YOUNGER brother Eldarion was the heir solely because he had a penis instead of a vagina, she had been taken to her room and "talked to" by her mother, Arwen. 

That hadn't gone over well, either. Apparently, Arwen agreed that Eldarion should take over for Aragorn when he passes because he had been trained by Aragorn since birth. To which Ariella promptly replied with how that wasn't her fucking fault. If they hadn't panicked and sent her away, she would have been trained since birth. But as it stood, she wasn't just not going to inherit the kingdom she felt entitled to as the eldest (but really didn't want to run it, she just wanted to point out the sexist bullshit), now she would have to be married away to a Lord or another King or Prince because that was her *duty* as a princess. 

Yeah. That conversation had ended with her trying to find away back to Earth. Regular Earth. The one that she grew up in. The one where she could have a job, own land, and be single the rest of her life. 

Not once, though, had she mentioned to her parents about why she didn't want to be married. She never did get around to telling them about her past relationships. Her past abuse at the hands of men she thought she loved. Why would she feel comfortable enough to wed a total stranger in a world where it was probably legal for men to beat their wives, and on top of, where she didn't have a choice? 

But she would never tell them. At least… she wasn't going to. Until she heard Saidh and Auley discussing the scars she mentioned. 

"Her father said they were from a tumble." Auley was saying, 

"Yeah, a tumble with a fist. She told me her previous lovers used to abuse her horribly! Auley, why would Ariella lie about that?" 

She felt Aragorns eyes drift back to her face, his hands tightening instinctively on her arms where he held her. "Daughter…?" He asked calmly, though his voice was tight with what she assumed was anger. 

"…I don't want to talk about it anymore today. May I please -"  
  
"No. You may not." She flinched at the harsh tone her father was using. This wasn't going to end well. 

She let Aragorn lead her back to the throne room, through the hall, up the back stairs, and into her room before she realized that they had a group following them. "You're not going to make me explain this to everyone….are you?"  
  
Aragorn shook his head and she breathed a sigh of relief before blanching as he continued. "Just Auley, your mother, and me."  
  
"Auley!?" She cried, glancing back at the man who now had a scowl on his face to match the fierce scar running down it. "But he's got nothing to do with this!"  
  
"He's your betrothed -"  
  
Her anger suddenly tipped and she ripped herself out of Aragorn's arms, putting as much distance between herself and them as she could in the small hallway. "No! No way!! You don't get to chose my betrothed!! You don't even know me! I'm your daughter in blood only, my parents back on earth are the ones who raised me into the woman I am today, and on top of that, I am a human fucking being, and I will not be sold to the highest fucking bidder like fucking chattel! The concept of arranged marriage is such an archaic, patriarchal bullshit concept! I am my own fucking person and I will chose who or if I marry!! You do not get to parade handsome men around here and choose my husband for me! For that matter, you do not get parade *me* around for my future husband to possibly buy! I will not marry and you cannot make me! There was a wormhole once, there is sure to be one again, and I am out of here!"  
  
As she had been screaming, she hadn't realized she had backed herself into her room until she felt her bed behind her knees. Nor had she realized that now, not only was her father, mother, and Auley standing in her room, but the entire Buchannan clan, and half the castle were there as well. Including Elboron, Faramir's son, whom she had actually grown quite attached to. He was like the big brother she never had. Currently, he was standing in front of the group, holding his hand out to her like he would a startled rabbit in the wild. She realized that must be what she looked like to them. Just some stupid startled rabbit who realized she was caught in a trap and about to be slaughtered. 

"Chelsea, breathe." He said calmly, using her Earth name like he always did when they were in private. "Just breathe. No on is going to make you marry anyone." 

"You can't promise that." She hissed. 

"Like you said, you're your own person. You can make your own decisions. You don't have to marry if you don't want to. You'll always have a home with me. I promise." he reached her slowly and kept his hands in her sight before gently placing one on her shoulder. "I'll take you in if I have to. You know I'd never make you do anything you don't want to do. I'm here for you. Alright? I'm right here. But…" 

"There's always a but." she said miserably, watching Elboron and ignoring the rest of the people in the room. 

"But you need to tell your father. About your whole past. He needs to know." 

Ariella shook her head at that. "No." she snapped. "What difference is it going to make?"  
  
"It will help him understand." 

"Understand what?" Aragorn finally asked, apparently done watching his Stewart's son get more out of his daughter than he could himself. 

"About her past relationships." 

"You promised me!" 

"They abused her. Beat her, belittled her, tortured her. God knows what else." Elboron stated, standing straighter now, body blocking her view of most of the people in the room. "She's shown me the scars. I tried to convince her then to tell you. She was just as adamant then as she is now in not telling you. But you need to know, my lord. These were men she loved, trusted, and respected. And they abused that - and her. That could be part of the many reasons she is against arranged marriage. The laws here in Gondor are clear - no man shall harm his wife or put her in harm's wife. But she does not know that, my lord. She has been here two months and has been treated with nothing but disrespect and hatred by our own people. I know you have sought to rectify that, but have you included your daughter in the discussion on punishment for these men and women who have attacked her here? You cannot blame her for being … angry. On edge. Scared." 

By this point, Ariella was shaking she was so worked up. She didn't even know what emotion was most prominent at this point - anger, anxiety, frustration, desperation, depression, defeat… they all mixed together into one large ball of emotion causing her to cry all over again. She wanted to bolt. Jump out the window and make a mad dash for the forest, the caves, *anywhere* but here. She could feel all of the eyes in the room on her in that moment. Every last man, woman, and child who had crammed into her bedroom was now staring at her. Some in awe, some in disgust, some with just utter horror written all over their faces. She couldn't take it anymore. Grabbing up her skirts to make it easier, she attempted to run to the window but was caught around the waist by none other than her soon-to-be-ex-fiance. 

"Let me go," she begged quietly, knowing she wouldn't be able to struggle out of his grasp, and just wanting to give up.  
  
"I think it best if I keep ye here. That fall from the window will kill ye, lass." He whispered in her ear, low enough for only her to hear. Letting her know that he knew her plan. Knew she was about to bolt before she ever made the decision. 

"Chelsea!" Elboron rushed over and grabbed her hand. "Stop it! Stop running!" He sighed. "You said it yourself - you didn't belong back where you were raised. You felt that way day in and day out! You belong here. In Middle Earth. In Gondor. With us. This is where you belong. So please just stop running and tell them." 

**Author's Note:**

> Please be kind with your constructive criticism. As I said, this is a rough first draft with no Beta, so I know there needs a lot of work. But I wanted to post it to see if it would get any kind of reaction. Love you all! <3


End file.
